THE HERESY HUNTER: liturgical abominations

TH2 sometimes feels that, one of these days, he's gonna do a Luther.

Why?

A culmination of things:

Holy Eucharist dispensed/served like party crackers.

Stupid "Parish Bulletin" announcements. Can't anybody read anymore?

Clapping. This isn't some gaudy off-Broadway musical.

Felt banners. What's with this kindergarten krap?

Children gathering around the altar. Hey kids, its playtime. Get your snacks.

Music Director: Hey gramps, your acoustic guitar is out of tune. Smoke one too many doobies last night? Oh, and tell your buddy Haugen that he's a menace.

Silence. What's that? After Mass, I'm gonna drive my SUV in the parish parking lot and ram the Music Director's Prius.

Liturgy Committee Member: Sieg heil, my little Nazi princess. Where's your whip? You Nordic bombshell you...

Guy relaxing in pew with arms outstretched. Dude, you bring the lawn chairs? Throw me a burger on the BBQ will ya?

Indecent apparel/clothing... and those @#%&$#* flip-flops! Hey lady, what's your problem?

Hey pal, what's with the coffee? I thought Tim Hortons was down the street. Get lost.

So-called "sign of peace". Awkward. Forced. Therefore: inauthentic. And I have no idea where that person's fingers have been.

Holding hands/singing the "Our Father". It's the Rembrandt Weakland Show !

Altar girls - and altar boys aren't distracted? Ya right.

"Worship space" - What the...? Up yours.

Parish architecture: Community Center. Shopping Mall. "Attention K-Mart shoppers..."

To these TH2 declares his ANATHEMA.

The Temple of God has turned into a repulsive marketplace.
The Mass has turned into a Protestant jamboree... starring Everybody!
Little by little.
Sunday after Sunday.
Abuse after abuse.
Abomination after abomination.
How long, oh Lord? How long must we wait?

Wouldn't it be nifty to see Our Lord effectuate some good old fashioned Old Testament justice?
(yes, nifty and effectuate are words I like using)