14 July 2009

MSS / No. 11

I'm baaaaaaaack... Bet you thought I was on an extended hiatus? Not so, Catholic peoples. Mr. Scampers is always scoping out the cultural landscape for those enemies of the One, Holy, Apostolic, Roman Catholic Church. TH2 tells me that he's got a "monster post" against a modern day heretic coming soon, whatever the hek that means. But don't take too seriously that smarmy excuse for a blogger. He's a scoundrel and a punk. I'm the brains behind this operation. So, for your reading and visual pleasure, may I humbly present...


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3rd Inset: Bill Clinton offering a cigar to Chittister.

Joan Chittister, OSB (Genus: masculus suspectus). Goodness gracious... what have we here? Self-promoter, speaker at conferences on irrelevant issues, Aunt Bea look-alike, columnist for the National Catholic Reporter, author of books nobody reads, social justice jet setter, media panderer, theological hussy - what more could one want in a heretical nun? Tell ya what, superfly, keep doing what you're doing and you're headed for Hades. My guess is that St. Benedict wished you were there when the Allies bombed Monte Cassino... and why does Mr. Scampers now have this peculiar urge to play checkers?

3rd Inset: Better keep a lookout Sis, cuz Team-B16 is coming to get ya.

Sandra Schneiders, IHM (Genus: polyesteris maximus). Ahhhh!, Mr. Scampers sees that the Vatican has dispatched a real nun to the US of A so as to "assess the situation" of your habitless hordes. Doesn't look too good, sweet pea. It's ZERO HOUR. But, then again, who except the anti-Catholic intelligentsia listens to your pathetic secularized, spirit-of-the-world bromides. Tell ya what, my polyester-laden muffin, wipe that phony smirk off your face because your heretical cause is fruitless and doomed to failure. The history of the Holy Church is littered with such 5th rate apostates. [helmet tip to the Caveman for the polyester identifier]

3rd Inset: "In the midnight hour, she cried more, more, more... With a rebel yell..."

Joanna Manning (Genus: seditiosus buffoonus). A Canadian catastrophe, feminist fanatic, Billy Idol wanna-be, hipster, a busybody and a barrel of laughs - Manning jumped ship from the Society of the Holy Child in 1970. Ever since this crew cut silver fox, through writings and teaching, has scoured her way through Catholic education, via Stage Left, leaving a trail of disbelief, confusion and hardened hearts. Surprise! Surprise! Manning is involved with United Nations NGOs, liberal "Catholic" clubs and other pantywaist associations. Who would of thunk it? Listen up, girlfriend: some guy named Screwtape keeps calling me and saying that he is "very much looking forward to seeing you". Sleep well, cupcake.

3rd Inset: The Sisters of Sion. What a bunch of happy gals. Talk about pathetic snorefest.

Mary Jo Leddy (Genus: rusticus vulgaris). Yet another de-nunified tragedy from the Great White North. Leddy is a Hannah Arendt wanna-be... you know: the type of army-surplus-store dressing nun who desperately wants to “get involved”. She was a founder of the now defunct newspaper Catholic New Times, a Marxist tabloid that published everything from liberation theology to New Age crapola. Alas, in 2000 she left the "Sisters of Sion" (see inset photo) because "vocation is where your heart is". Sigh... She is now lost and wandering through the bowels leftist academia. Boring, droll, irrelevant and a bad bouffant to boot - this poor creature is now fading into her self-created darkness.

3rd Inset: If you only knew how ridiculous you appear. Ignorance is bliss, I guess.

Gail Worcelo, SGM (Genus: venerator terrarum). Gaia goofball, weaver, liturgical dancer, pantheist and pagan nature worshipper - this excuse for a nun resides at the "Green Mountain Monastery" in the socialistic forests of Vermont. An elusive beast, she is only sighted at dawns early light. There you will find her wallowing in mud pools, gnawing on tree bark, foraging grubs, chasing butterflies and occasionally sniffing the anus of a wandering and rather astonished teddy bear. She is identified by her enigmatic call, which goes: "ka ka ka coo coo ou la la". This malicious breed is a favorite target of heresy hunters.

3rd Inset: Yell all you want my scraggly-haired apostate. Doesn't matter. You dun evil.

Christine Leyser, IBVM (Genus: malignus proditoris). This habitless heretic was made a Member of the Order of Canada for her social work. Outwardly it appears an honor to receive, but really the recipients have mainly been politically correct leftist-liberal brown nosers. This award was gratefully received by Leysner at the same time that it was awarded to Canada's most notorious abortionist, Henry Morgentaler. She was presented it by Governor General Michaƫlle Jean (another CBC Fabianist), whom she is seen kissing in the inset photo, just like Judas' betraying kiss to Our Lord. Tell ya what, pumpkin: Have a nice hot meal and a warm glass of milk before retiring tonight. Mr. Scampers is glad to see that your conscious is clear.

Disclaimer: The Heresy Hunter (TH2) does not necessarily endorse, approve or assent to the ideations, articulations, ruminations, expurgations, cogitations, castigations or depictions as disseminated by Mr. Scampers. Any perceived similarities between views expressed in TH2 postings and the expostulations of Mr. Scampers are purely coincidental.