30 August 2010

CATHOLIC PIPE SMOKERS


Left to Right: Msgr. Ronald Knox (1888-1957), Hilaire Belloc (1870-1953), Evelyn Waugh (1903-1966), J.R.R. Tolkien (1892-1973).

Therefore: Knox lived 69 years / Belloc lived 83 years / Waugh lived 63 years / Tolkien lived 81 years

ALECPS = (69 + 83 + 63 + 81) / 4 = 74.0 years, where ALECPS is the Average Life Expectancy of Catholic Pipe Smokers.

All were Englishmen (however, Belloc was a naturalized British citizen). This function also assumes a representative population size (i.e. N = 4).

According to the Office of National Statistics in the United Kingdom, the Average Life Expectancy of a Male Born in England between the years 2006-2008 (ALEMBE) is 77.7 years. LINK

Let: DLE = ALEMBE - ALECPS, where DLE is the Differential Life Expectancy.

Thus: DLE = 77.7 - 74.0 = 3.7 years.

It can therefore be stated within a reasonable degree of scientific certainty that, on average, English male Catholic pipe smokers live approximately 4 years less than the current national average lifespan. Not too bad. However, there is a wild card that might decrease the average value of ALECPS...

----------------------LEMMA:


Let's hope that Pope Benedict's visit to the United Kingdom next month, for the beatification of John Henry Cardinal Newman (19 September 2010 / LINK), will start to stem the tide.

Our Lady of Walsingham: keep and protect the English people.


Share/Bookmark

21 comments:

LarryD said...

My dad used to smoke a pipe - he is not English, however. He is still kicking at 84.

His pipe resembled Waugh's.

TH2 said...

My grandfather used to smoke a pipe as well. His resembled Tolkien's.

Nancy said...

There are photos out there of Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati smoking a pipe, but in reproductions the Catholic PC police have on occasion been known to airbrush the offending item out.

TH2 said...

Nancy: I heard about that. Don't like that PC stuff at all.

Al said...

Nancy, So far I have yet to see an airbrushed picture of my paisan. IMHO those doing so to worship at the altar of PC are committing the sin of bearing false witness.

Of course here in the USA it has also become incorrect to show FDR with his ubiquitous cigarette holder.

Speaking of Italianos & smoking pipes, mio nonno italiano (Italian grandfather) smoked a pipe well into his 60s until ordered to quite because of an ulcer. He lived to just a couple weeks short of 88 yrs.

As for the UK, given what I see of the British Bishops working to limit access by the faithful to Papa Benedetto during his visit, I hold more hope for things after he appoints a few new Bishops. But knowing Papa B I am sure he will find ways arround some of the ongoing attempts over there to undermine him.

Anita Moore said...

I love it! (I can also see that you are not a stranger to the witness box.)

God protect our Holy Father.

TH2 said...

Al: My grandfather the pipe smoker (and cigarettes), too, made it to about 88 years. Man, was he was one tough customer.

Anita: Ditto on the protection on HHB16.

Celestine said...

Did Chesterton smoke pipes, or just cigars?

Regardless, a very entertaining and informative post. However, TH2, my inner Cletus The Bible Belt Cathlik is showing through--I can't, for the life of me, figure out what LEMMA stands for (though I understand the meaning well enough). Help out poor Celestine, s'il vous plait?

TH2 said...

Celestine: So far as I am aware, GKC was a cigar smoker only (I am open to correction here). I even recall a story of him doing the sign of the Cross with a burning cigar in his hand while at some party or something, praying before dinner or for someone.

Lemma: I used it in the sense that the term is commonly used in mathematical journals (incidentally, I am not a mathematician). In this sense, lemma means an auxiliary proposition (expressed in symbolical math/logic) assumed to be true so as to prove or demonstrate another proposition. Basically, it is a kind of logical sequence of one thing leading to another thing and so on. For example, in such papers you will find formats/titles such as:

Definition 3.2.4...
Theorem 3.1 ....
Proof 3.7.6....
Lemma 3.8.2....

Click here for a sample paper (don't ask me to explain - that kind of stuff is way beyond me).

Mary said...

Now I feel really silly, TH2. I thought LEMMA meant Life Expectancy of a Male Muslim A$$hole. My mistake.

TH2 said...

ROFLMAO. Mary: Where did that one come from from?

Mary said...

Sorry TH2. I left my account open on a public computer, and someone else left that vulgar comment. Apologies.:)

TH2 said...

You're too much.

Tim J. said...

I heard today (on NPR, no less) that heavy drinkers - yes, that was HEAVY drinkers - live longer than teetotalers.

So, have a few beers with your pipe and you should come out fine, lifespan-wise. That's my take on it, anyway, though I never was much for math.

Splendid blog, BTW. You are being added to my blogroll.

TH2 said...

Thanks Tim. Much appreciated. Glad you enjoyed the post.

Del said...

I started Pipe Smoking when I was 48... I hope it's not too late to catch up!

TH2 said...

Del. Maybe three or four times a year I will smoke a pipe.

Daniel said...

I could be wrong, but I think you may have miscalculated Msgr. Knox's age. As I calculate it, 1888 to 1957 is 69 years. However, that doesn't change the final numbers too much.

TH2 said...

Daniel: Correction noted. I will recalculate the numbers. Thank you, sir.

Patrick Button said...

Check out The League of Bearded Catholics, I can see that TH2 is already aware of their greatness:
http://timothyjones.typepad.com/tlbc/

TH2 said...

Yes, Patrick, the guys at TLBC are indeed great.

Post a Comment