14 June 2009

AJOTW / No. 2

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ITEM: Earlier in the week court jester David Letterman included Alaska Govenor Sarah Palin on his "Top Ten List". Number 2 was as follows: she "bought makeup from Bloomingdale's to update her slutty flight attendant look." Palin was in New York with her 14-year old daughter, Willow, and was doing charity work. She and her daughter also attended a Yankees baseball game with the serial womanizer Rudy Giuliani. Letterman also joked that her daughter got "knocked up" by Alex Rodriguez, a player. In reponse Palin said this: "I doubt he'd ever dare make such comments about anyone else's daughter... laughter incited by sexually perverted comments made by a 62-year-old male celebrity aimed at a 14-year-old girl is not only disgusting, but it reminds us some Hollywood-N.Y. entertainers have a long way to go in understanding what the rest of America understands - that acceptance of inappropriate sexual comments about an underage girl, who could be anyone's daughter, contributes to the atrociously high rate of sexual exploitation of minors by older men who use and abuse others."



[SCENE: Bus Stop]

[SITUATION: TH2 sitting on bench, waiting. His Sampersness arrives 15 minutes later]

TH2: You're late again.

MR. SCAMPERS: Relax. I had a previous appointment.

TH2: It seems we have a repeating theme. Letterman effectively extolled the same thing as Guy Cimbalo, Jackass No. 1.

MR. SCAMPERS: Yup. Child rape was advocated by this weeks jackass.

TH2: Moreover, have you ever noticed that, ever so gradually, comedians are starting to make jokes about children and sex, about child molestation. Not only this, more and more jokes are being made about bestiality, necrophilia and other perversions.

MR. SCAMPERS: You said it. The worse part is that their audiences, like a herd of slimy seals, are clapping and laughing at these abominations.

TH2: Do you think there is any other motivation for Letterman's remarks?

MR. SCAMPERS: Palin is an existential threat to the radical left wing ideology to which Letterman and his brown nosing celebrity friends subscribe. She is conservative, successful, pro-family, pro-life, endorses the free market, a crack shot - and she is a delicious honeypot. The hags of the womens lib movement do not like this at all. Another Anita Bryant has come back to haunt them.

TH2: Palin, you know, was born into a Roman Catholic family, but now has joined some Protestant Church.

MR. SCAMPERS: Well, nobody's perfect...

[SITUATION: Mr. Scampers looks down street and sees approaching bus]

MR. SCAMPERS: Do you have a $20 bill? Can I see one?

TH2: Why?

MR. SCAMPERS: Just give me one. I want to show you something.

[SITUATION: TH2 gives $20 bill to Mr. Scampers. Bus arrives at stop. Mr. Scampers scampers onto bus. Bus drives away. TH2 is astonished]

TH2: Blast! Foiled again by the notorious Mr. Scampers.




Al said...

Jackass of the decade is more like it for Letterman.

Vir Speluncae Catholicus said...

Off topic, but you're a winner of the Honest Scrap Award!!

Simplex Vir said...

Wow, your friend Mr. Scampers saw you coming a mile away TH2!


That Mr. Scampers is one bad dude. I'll get him one day.

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