11 June 2009

MSS / No. 10

Great Scott! Eureka! I found it!

For years Mr. Scampers has been searching far and wide for the origins of the modern emergence of that plague called "liturgical dancing". What, I often ruminated, was the inspiration for these babybooming dilettantes? But, at last, a very reliable and unnamed source has indicated to yours truly that the video below (just a portion), produced by those in the upper echelon of this heretical community, is the prime brainwashing tool used for these modern weirdos. My presentiments were correct. It turns out that, like many heresies, its origins are from the Far East. The leader of this movement goes by the secret code name: "P-Low: The Skillful Abbot". Vigilance, peoples, vigilance... and have you ever wondered why these frolicking fruit cakes are, not only ridiculous, but also bizarre, surreal? Well, the video below explains everything. Spread the word.

Mr. Scampers was so enthralled with his amazing discovery of the origins of this heretical sect that he was inspired to compose the following poem. It is called...


O liturgical dancers
Weirdos and silly prancers
My name is the great Mr. Scampers.

Fruit cakes they do frolic
Babyboomer, homely and bucolic
Dost thou know not it looks psychotic?

Docetism they know not
In the old'n days they'd be shot
Methinks thou smoke alot of pot.

An offence to God
Mistakenly deemed mod
But really thou art a fraud.

Never made it in show biz
Buffoons therefore they is
Cuz petty celebrity doth thou seek.

'Round altars they swirl
Unknowing that people dost hurl
Upon witness tis vulgar display.

They jump and twirl and sway
In a homosexual way
Run away, run away, run away.

Mockery thou dost make
Go home and bake a cake
You ridiculous gnostic flake.


TH2 Note:
Pope Benedict XVI wrote: "Dancing is not a form of expression for the Christian liturgy. In about the third century, there was an attempt in certain Gnostic-Docetic circles to introduce it into the liturgy. For these people, the Crucifixion was only an appearance... Dancing could take the place of the liturgy of the Cross, because, after all, the Cross was only an appearance. The cultic dances of the different religions have different purposes - incantation, imitative magic, mystical ecstasy - none of which is compatible with the essential purpose of the liturgy as the 'reasonable sacrifice' ".
From (then) Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger, The Spirit Of The Liturgy, trans. J. Saward (San Francisco: Ignatius Press, 2000), p. 198.


1 comment:

Al said...

I won't go into all the bad puns that I could, but this would explain a lot.

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