27 August 2009

AJOTW / No. 3

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VERSUS


ITEM: On the death of Ted Kennedy (radical advocate and perpetuator of abortion), Chris Matthews thrillingly said on his MSNBC program: "Barack Is Now the Last (Kennedy) Brother".


[FADE IN]

[SCENE: Metropolitan Park. Weekday morning. Weather sunny and clear.]

[SITUATION: TH2 sitting on park bench, waiting for you know who. Time passes. His Scampersness arrives.]


TH2: You're always late for appointments.

MR. SCAMPERS: Relax.

TH2: Did ya hear the news? Ted Kennedy is dead.

MR. SCAMPERS: Yup. He's dead.

TH2: He's dead.

MR. SCAMPERS: He's dead.

TH2: He's dead.

MR. SCAMPERS: He sure is dead.

TH2: I think he's dead.

MR. SCAMPERS: Indeed, the evidence shows that he is dead.

TH2: Hell? Purgatory?

MR. SCAMPERS: [silence]

TH2: Remember that meeting in Maine in the mid-1960s? That the Kennedy's had with those apostate priest/theologians?

MR. SCAMPERS: I sure do.

TH2: They convinced the Kennedy clan that it is acceptable to be pro-abortion and Catholic at the same time.

MR. SCAMPERS: Yes. Their names were: Robert Drinan, Richard McCormick, Joseph Fuchs, Giles Milhaven, Charles Curran and Albert Jonsen.

TH2: Explains alot, doesn't it?

MR. SCAMPERS: It sure does, you pathetic excuse for a blogger.

TH2: What ever became of Fr. Robert Drinan?

MR. SCAMPERS: He's dead.

TH2: Richard McCormick ?

MR. SCAMPERS: He's dead.

TH2: Joseph Fuchs?

MR. SCAMPERS: He's dead too.

TH2: The others? Milhaven... Curran... Jonsen?

MR. SCAMPERS: They're getting on in years... old men... they'll soon be dead.

TH2: You're a mean guy, Mr. Scampers... you are one mean dude.

MR. SCAMPERS: Ya, say that to the millions of children slaughtered in the womb on account of that Kennedy kook. Oh! Did I forget to mention Mary Jo?

TH2: [silence]

MR. SCAMPERS: Don't bother me, I have a headache.

TH2: Judging by the size of that head, it's gotta be one big monster headache.

MR. SCAMPERS: Such rapier wit! I thought we came here to discuss Jackass Number 3, Chris Matthews.

TH2: Uh huh. We did. Heard what he said about the Kennedy-Obama relation?

MR. SCAMPERS: Ya. He's still got a woody for that Marxist creep.

TH2: To be sure, my good man. A thriller. Anyway, you got anything in the works for the Catholic peoples?

MR. SCAMPERS: Yes, I do, TH2. I'm thinking... "Graphical Fun with Luther".

TH2: Sounds interesting...


[SITUATION: Mr. Scampers immediately get's up. Says nothing. Walks away into distance. It starts to rain... A day without Mr. Scampers is like a day without sunshine.]

[FADE OUT]







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7 comments:

Al said...

Given the alley cat morals of the Kennedys, père et fils, maybe Matthews knows something we don't know.

That aside, Mrt. Scampers had so much to say about Teddy that it seems he let Chrsi Matthews off easy, even though merely getting this award means he isn't.

Mary said...

Someday I'll die too. If there are any news releases from my deathbed, I hope it's for proclaiming repentance for my offenses against God Almighty, and NOT a call for my speedy replacement.

THE HERESY HUNTER said...

My offenses are many. With this post, I do not exclude myself sinfulness in my own life, thinking I am better. Not at all. Indeed, my mind always seems to be in the sewer. But I went to Confession last night, and thank Our Lord for that Sacrament.

Fr. Erik Richtsteig said...

Get 'em Mr. Scampers!

Anita Moore said...

ROTFL the thrills!!

VSO said...

Is it uncharitable to hope that Ted Kennedy is burning in hell if he didn't repent?

THE HERESY HUNTER said...

Indeed, VSO, a burning question.

Regarding the conditions/persons in Hell, I take the motto of Cardinal Newman: "It is wrong to speculate. But it is safe to be alarmed."

I confess, however, that my mind will more so turn to the nature of evil as such when such questions are posed.

I will think, sometimes, of the report of Stalin on his deathbed, as reported by (if I am correct) his daughter. Just before slipping away, he was shaking his fists at an empty ceiling. Was it defiance against God? Horror at seeing his immanent eternal damnation?

Then I will think of St. Augustine, in his Confessions: "I was searching for the nature of evil, but could not find it."

It always ends up with me repeating in my mind the words of St. John in Revelation: "...and I wondered a great wonder".

Totally dumbfounded, numb, and the only recourse is to go to the foot of the Cross.

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